years.

I've had these last few days to really be thankful for what i have. as little as i might think it is at times, what i have is something i never had so many years ago. the friends i share my heart with, the family i share my space with. i must admit, at times i wish my life would just end, as it just crumbles down wall by wall. the people that have stood by my side and kept me from falling, ill never be able to thank them enough. sarah my bestfriend, my sister, my second mum, my heart & my soul, the jelly to my peanut butter, my life support and my saviour, i owe her my entire life after what shes helped me through. she literally kept me alive and kept me fighting this on going war between myself and everything pulling me down, the times where i tried telling myself i could get through the struggles on my own, because i didnt want to drag anyone else down with me, sarah was the only one being persistant with her having both hands and her heart held open towards me. and ill do exactly the same back, ill be a shoulder to cry on for her, a diary to be spoken into, and bestfriend and a carer. anything for this girl, id take a bullet in a heartbeat. ive seen how much i took forgranted, how much good memories i let slip away. now wishing i had spent more time being thankful rather than wishing i had more. but at the end of each day, i truely do thank god for blessing me with such amazing friends. without going through these situations, i never would have found the people i have now, and thats something i am truely greatful for and always will be. and also to the friends that showed me a good time, that showed me getting drunk and forgetting about your worries, is a good thing to do every once in a while. that taking risks and chances and waking up the next morning not having a clue what you did the night before, is all about being young and loving what youve been given. yea its a lifestyle i probably shouldnt live with forever, but those nights have brought me so many amazing, fantastic friends that i love so dearly and hope they stay in my heart forever. also, ill ad in, that id do anything for any of my friends, and im pretty sure more than half of them dont realise it. ive learnt to love what i have and care about so many people, more than theyll ever realise.